On my cleanse I am not allowed tea, coffee, fizzy drinks (basically anything nice I can’t have) for the first two days and after that it’s decaf this and decaf that!
So today when I stopped for a break with a friend we went into a cafe. (Now this friend has been on this ‘Cleanse’ and thinks its wonderful and even drinks the Aloe shit out of choice (one of those maintaining your healthy lifestyle program’s). Well to hell with that, 9 days will be enough for me. So we are about to order when I suddenly remember I can’t have coffee (bugger). I turn to her and say ‘What am I allowed to have’. Her eyes search the large board behind the counter and triumphantly she exclaims ‘You can have Lemongrass and Ginger herbal tea’ (chuffing great). We order and go and sit down…

The waitress arrives with a tray with my friends drink, which was a decaf latte with sprinkles and mine which was an empty cup and a teapot! I started to pour out my tea and recoiled in horror as I looked in my cup, it resembled Nats piss! I looked up at her and she said ‘You need to let it infuse’. I guess due to my puzzled expression, she continued, ‘leave it to stew a while’. Well I did, for 10 mins and then poured it out and still it looked like Nats piss (see pic).

Now I don’t know what Nats piss tastes like but I am sure that not only did my herbal tea look like it, it tasted like it.

Note to self: Never order Nats piss again!