New Arse App

I think I have come up with a new idea for a security app. Rather than rely on identifying people by finger prints or pupils of eye, I think developers should apply themselves to inventing Arse Recognition Software. To avoid detection people can wear gloves or even burn off their finger prints and eyes can be obscured in many ways. 
So it’s reasonable to consider other forms of additional identification. Most butts are different and if software was used to determine the ‘user’ this could be of great assistance to a variety of agencies! For example if someone has stolen an item and departing from the store the CCTV always shows the rear of the person (finger prints or eye recognition are useless), this is where Arse Recognition Software Equipment comes in! The possibilities are endless, you could do away with car keys, door keys, door card swipes, and just swing your Arse in the direction of the sensor! You could even do without passwords, your Arse would be your password! As for getting your cash out at ATM’s (which could now stand for Arse Terminal Machine), no card to worry about just shove your Arse at the screen, and who the hell is going to try and nick or clone your Arse!

Patent pending…..Ta dah!

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