Well burnt was a slight overstatement, whilst in the queue for coffee the woman in front of me stumbled and her coffee splashed down my jacket. My jacket is quite thick so it didn’t actually burn me……but it could of! She was very apologetic but as I looked down there was a great big wet patch! Shit! (Does coffee stain?). As I didn’t know I said to extremely clumsy woman, through gritted teeth…’that’s OK, I’m fine’. I turned round and went looking for the nearest toilets, losing my place in the queue and mumbling under my breath… ‘Fuckwit’. Got to toilets, recently refurbished and very nice, and tried to rub and wash the stain out. I then noticed I also had two splashes of coffee on my jeans. So I tried rubbing at them as I couldn’t take them off at the sink. I got as close as I could to the sink, and waved at the tap again (it was one of those sensor things), and all of a sudden it splashed out over the sink and splashed all over the crotch of my jeans! Shit! I looked down and yes it looked like I had wet myself….