Mark drove me to the airport and I arrived 3 hours ahead of departure. Now this is the first time I have been allowed out ‘on my own’! It was slightly nerve racking but if you take it step by step the anxiety is controlled. I check in, get through customs and was feeling pleased with myself. However, as the airport became more crowded, groups of young people started to arrive, full of excitement and laughter. It hit me, there in departures, my chick would never be able to go on holiday again he wouldn’t ever experience the excitement! The tears flowed silently as I tried to focus on the TV screen trying to make out if my gate number had come up! I realised that I couldn’t get on the plane, it was too soon, I needed to go home! I looked around wiping the tears away and wondered how the hell do you get back through customs! The thought of having to try and find someone and explain filled me with dread. So I sat there trying to calm my breathing whilst staring at the screen. Ping…. Go to Gate 16, so I did as I was told!