Rat Shit & Me

It would seem that this journey I am on is introducing me to the wonders of the animal kingdom, namely Rodents!

My first introduction was whilst I was in Spain helping a dear friend move villas. Now I love my friend to bits but it would seem that she hadn’t actually thrown anything away for over 30 years. So whilst the villa had been cleared we were now onto the Sheds! Living in the campo means that you need to pest proof all areas to deter the little buggers!

So three of us headed off to the outbuildings. On opening the external door we found the internal pest proof door open, this was not a good sign. My friend was a lot more confident and strode inside and started sorting boxes. In order to be efficient we set ourselves up in a chain, passing items and boxes to each other and into piles! Maybe we should of been more cautious, or maybe paid more attention to the obvious rodent droppings scattered about, because when the next box came out all hell let loose.

The open topped box contained a range of old Christmas decorations, and just as the box was being passed to me with my hands out stretched, there was a rustling noise and suddenly a bloody great rat, with tinsel round it’s neck jumped out, flying through the air towards me, just missing my chest, landed on the floor and ran through my legs!

Fast forward to last week, when yet again I was house clearing, the only place to clear was the shed, which had the two hot tubs (that Anton’s friend were having) and an off cut of carpet. Now I wasn’t expecting any problems and sent my better half to clear it out! Within seconds I hear a crash, I turned round and he is legging it out of the shed and down the garden path shouting ‘Mouse’.

It had been bad enough clearing Anton’s house but to hear we had unwanted guests was a liberty. I marched towards the shed remembering my acquaintance in Spain with the ‘Rat’, but this time I was prepared. What I wasn’t prepared for that there was more than one! I ran out of the shed shouting ‘Mice’.

So we stood by the back door contemplating our next move, my partner said that he wasn’t going back in there and I knew that we had to get the hot tubs out ready for collection. Now each day I go through a range of emotions and one of them is anger. I could feel the rage build, I had a job to do and I wasn’t going to let Anton down, so I marched towards the shed determined, this grieving mother was going to evict the mice!

I managed to manoeuvre the two large boxes each containing a hot tub out onto the lawn, with no sign of the mice. I picked up one of the rolls of carpet and passed it out, then suddenly a mouse flew out of one end and jumped into one of the boxes and before I dropped the carpet another flew out and went into the other box. I gingerly bent over and looked into the roll of carpet and could not see any more mice. I looked around the empty shed, no mice there either.

I locked the shed and we stood in front of the two boxes containing the heavy hot tub canvas knowing that somewhere in both boxes was a mouse that we were giving to Anton’s friends!

Now it had been a long day, we were tired and hungry and didn’t have the energy to search for the mice! But more importantly the people that were having the hot tubs had promised to help with the removal but as of yet, still hadn’t bothered to turn up. With a smile on my face I shut the lids on the boxes and we carried them round to the front of the house and I texted them saying ‘The hot tubs are ready for collection’…..

I closed up the house for the last time and my eyes filled with tears, I looked up to the sky and whispered ‘I’ve done it’. I got in the car and just as we started to move I looked over at the house and the 2 remaining hot tubs boxes waiting for collection, when suddenly a little face popped out of the top of the box looked around and disappeared. I leant back in the seat and thought Anton is going to be in hysterics when his friends unpack their hot tubs!

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