The 10 things that I have learnt in the last 18 months are:-

1. Time does not heal (you don’t heal from this)

2. I have found out who my true friends are (and I have some really good friends)

3. I hate platitudes…In a better place…Only the good die young…..He wouldn’t want you to cry….Be strong. (It really doesn’t help coming up with cliches)

4. I am not as strong as I thought I was (at times I am a mess)

5. Mental torment is crushing and debilitating (you go to the darkest of places)

6.I know what a broken heart feels like (it is actually a physical pain)

7. I abhor driving past lay-bys (for obvious reasons)

8. I can’t concentrate for long (if un-occupied my mood changes and I relive the horrors)

9. I live in a world of confusion and memory loss (I struggle to recall yesterday’s events)

10. Every morning I put on a mask, and every day that goes by I get better at keeping the mask on. I am frightened that if I don’t I won’t survive this.