In Traffic

The trip to the DIY store started OK until I got to the road works. It was the usual, mobile traffic lights, shed loads of cones and not a worker in sight. Sat patiently in queuing traffic when I noticed a restored old mini in front of me, memories of learning to drive in one came flooding back and I noticed that compared to today’s cars, the mini is very small, the two people in the front of the car almost were touching shoulders. So you can imagine my surprise when the man turned his head to the side and started blowing imaginary kisses at his lady companion sat next to him. This lead to her doing the same to him! Well at first I guess it was quite sweet, but after about a minute of this repetitious activity I found it quite annoying. I was now hoping the lights would soon change to green when they eventually stopped, I could see that they were talking and then he bent his head towards her and they started performing eskimo kissing! At this point I was considering hitting the car horn when suddenly the lights changed, they were so engrossed in rubbing noses they were oblivious to the green light, I had no other option, I hit the car horn. Having never used the car horn on this car before I reckon I must of hit it too hard because it didn’t stop. The loved up couple in the mini had now turned and were staring daggers at me and then drove off. I too moved forward in my car, still with the horn blaring away. Other car users were looking at me in puzzlement (it reminded me of my experience with the hire car ‘Bang Bang). I was so wrapped up in my concern of what the hell I was going to do that I hadn’t realised that when I drove into the DIY store car park, I had just parked next to the mini with the loved up couple just getting out! I smiled weakly at them and said meet my car ‘Beep Beep’. She grabbed him by the hand and snapped at me ‘Weirdo’ and off they went. Where is the bloody number for the RAC.

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