Missing Mother

So after the ‘Real Madrid’ incident we went to Primark (Spanish style), basically the same but in Euros. Now I didn’t think much could go wrong in here so said to Mother, keep in the womens section and whatever you do don’t leave the shop! And with that off she went and the head of white hair disappeared behind a rack of clothing! That was the last I saw of her for the next 2 hours! After I had filled my basket I went looking for her. It’s quite a large store but after I had circuited it six times I was beginning to think she had either been snatched or she had left the store! (I had already ruled out the changing rooms). One more circuit and I stopped at the entrance and tried to see if she was waiting outside. Well I guess I must of looked a bit strange as I was stood by the entrance with my unpaid items in my basket looking side to side. That’s when I was approached by security…. Now my spanish is basic, and I did my best… I said (I think) my mother is missing, she is a small woman with white hair’ (mi madre ha desaparecido y ella es poco una pequeña mujer con pies blancos). He replied ‘pequeña como un enano?…..now I thought he said small and how old and I replied 83 (ochenta y tres). He immediately got onto his walkie talkie and in spoke in rapid fire Spanish (not a clue what he said). Within seconds a woman in a suit appeared and asked what had happened (she spoke English). I told her she spoke to security man and turned and said I had reported that my mother, a dwarf with white feet had gone missing and she was 83 cm tall. (Shit)…… Then a tap on my shoulder, I turned round and heard the words ‘Hello dear where have you been’? …….
Note to self: Always keep mother insight (can you still buy reins!) and learn more Spanish.

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