The last 11 months have been the worst of my entire life and I have struggled to understand how my heart still beats, how I manage to get out of bed, to get dressed and to function. I was convinced that I was going to die of a broken heart, when that didn’t happen I went to those dark places where, against all my beliefs, I thought about death. I was ready to give up. But during those early months where I struggled, in the depth of despair, a seed was beginning to grow. After the funeral I found solace in Southern Spain with some dear friends and that was where I found a lifeline, a tiny shred of hope and I clung on to that, oh boy have I clung to it, over the minutes, the days and the weeks. After a year of hell I was going to take some time out….